I have always believed that there are ways to do things, and ways to very much not do things. One shouldn't for example arrive at a party or dinner without a gift for the hostess, one should not rush lighting a cigar, as badly lit it will prove a source of constant irritation. In Poker one should always be a courteous loser, and a gracious winner, and one should never wear a bluetooth headset - they make you look like an idiot.
Finally and perhaps most importantly of all - one should absolutley never ever make tea with the teabag in the cup.
An Englishman should know how to make tea. It is an intrinsic part of our make up, and we should not settle for namby pamby, shortcut, imitation, fast food, U.S imported alternatives.
There is a way to make perfect tea. And this is it.
Go to Marks and Spencer and buy a packet of your favourite tea - I suggest Earl Grey, or a good quality breakfast tea. Go back home and boil a kettle of water. When the kettle has boiled, pour a little of it into a tea pot, swirl it around and tip it out again. Put a couple (or three, depending on the size of the pot) of tea bags into the pot. Bring the kettle back up to the boil, and then pour the boiling water as quickly as you can into the pot. Let it stand for two or three minutes, and then pour it into a cup. Some people will tell you that you shouldn't have milk with Earl Grey, just a slice of lemon. Screw them. I like it with milk. If you think you will like it with milk then it's probably best to put some milk into the bottom of the cup before you pour in the tea.1
If you pour milk into a cup of hot tea you will scald the milk. If you think you will prefer it with a slice of lemon then, well, add a slice of lemon.
Drink it.
1 This is socially incorrect. The socially correct way of pouring tea is to put the milk in after the tea. Social correctness has traditionally had nothing whatever to do with reason, logic or physics. In fact, in England it is generally considered socially incorrect to know stuff or think about things.
(Tea recipe courtesy of the late great Douglas Adams)
11 comments:
I could have agreed with this - I once loved Earl Grey tea, but then - the Tea Shop on Calton Avenue closed, and I realised I only liked Earl Grey with a large slice of their chocolate cake.
Now I would only argue on the fact that it must be Sainsbury's "taste the difference" Assam - that is just perfect!
Obviously which tea is the best is completely subjective, however i believe in always pushing one's boundaries to the absolute limit. To this end i shall try this "Assam" of which you speak, and reserve judgement until such time as I have consumed a pot or two.
The other problem about lighting a cigar too fast is that you set fire to yourself. Or is that just me?
I'm a fan of Lady Grey - more Bergamot. Plus I really disagree about putting milk in first - that is just sacrilege. If you put the milk in first, then, if it turns out that the tea is weaker than expected, you'll end up with milky water, whereas if the milk goes in last, you can carefully judge the exact amount required. Logic, see? I take mine black anyway.
Great blog - keep it up.
Thank you for calling by and linking to my page. I shall return the compliment as anyone who likes Earl Grey is a friend of mine. The inventor of the eponymous tea lived just two miles from here and for a truly authentic experience one should visit The Earl Grey Tearooms at Howick Hall. However, teabags are a complete no no. Loose tea only, don't y'know.
Ah... have you looked on 'Nothing But Tea'? It's the best website ever for tea lovers. I find that after being woken three times in the night by the baby, I need at least a pot of the stuff to get me started. After, of course, I have abused the coffee machine. Motherhood is nothing if not fuelled by caffiene for me.
Great blog!
er... that would be 'cafeine'. Or is it 'caffeine'? Good lord, I've lost my mind.
Thanks Sparks - i think you were right the first time!
I've linked you from my site - love your blog!
DD
Tea, ah tea!
I went through a phase of drinking Chai, which I now think disgusting,. Mostly now I stick to English Breakfast, though around 17:00 I like a cup of Lapsang Suchong which I can't spell. Sometimes 50:50 with the English Breakfast if I'm feeling FnP.
Thanks for the great Post – very COOL!!!
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