Act One
Scene 2
The master bedroom of a quiet, surburban house in East Dulwich. It's 5.47am on Monday. From underneath the continental duvet the sound of deep, peaceful, unconscious sleep can be heard. All is calm.
Suddenly the upstairs fills with the sound of someone clattering about in the bathroom at the end of the upstairs corridor. From the sounds being made, it would appear that this person is around 3 feet tall.
After some commotion, a lot of banging and scraping, huffing and puffing, and the occasional words of frustration, the sound of someone going to the toilet can finally be heard. After some moments, and what appears to be the successful completion of the task, a short, yet incredibly loud fart can be heard echoing from the bathroom.
Daddy, who has awoken due the noise, wanders down to the bathroom, bleary eyed to check that everything is OK. Standing at the entrance to the bathroom, he looks down at the man-cub, who is sitting on the potty.
Daddy: Everything all right?
Harry: Yes Daddy.
Daddy: You sure? Thought I heard a funny noise.
Harry: No Daddy, it was Doggy.
Daddy: Doggy?
Harry: Yes Daddy, Doggy did a trump.
Daddy: Oh, right. You sure it wasn't Harry?
Harry: Yes, Daddy. It was Harry.
Daddy: Thought so.
Harry: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes, Harry?
Harry: It's all part of life.
Daddy: (pauses) Indeed. Back to bed now, it's still snooze time.
Harry: Ok Daddy.
Harry pulls up his pants and meanders back to his bedroom. Daddy turns, still half asleep back to the master bedroom, and slumping back into bed he returns immediately to his dream about being on Desert Island Discs.
A Vespa scooter can be heard buzzing down a nearby street.
Fade to black
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